My Boyfriend Says Mean Things to Me. Help!

Shawna Leady

Dec 05 2016

My Boyfriend calls me names and expects me to be "tough" about it. What should I do?

I'm a sensitive person. he says & does things that upset me. When I speak up, he calls me a baby or says “why are you so sensitive?!” In my mind he's being insensitive. He called me stupid a minute ago & he thinks it's funny when I'm upset which makes it worse. What should I do or say to stop it?

Answer

Thank you Mary,

Let's talk about what is defined as abuse. You may be thinking, it's just words, it's not like he hits me. In fact, he may say something like that back to you when you tell him to stop with his hurtful words. In fact, I think many women stay in verbally abusive relationships because they think it is not hurtful words are not abusive.

However, the truth is any words or actions that make you feel less than, vulnerable, insignificant or worthless is in fact abuse.

A man (or woman) doesn't need to hit you in order to hurt you. Words do hurt. For some reason your boyfriend believes it's okay to say mean things to you and you are just supposed to accept it, because you love him. Give me a break! Your boyfriend is a bully!

Words have power. IF you hear negative comments about yourself on a regular basis you will tend to believe them. Do you know for every negative word a loved one says to you, you need at least three positive to help heal the pain.

It's okay to be sensitive. Your emotions are your guide to determining if an environment is safe for you, or not. If you are constantly getting your feelings hurt, then your soul is trying to tell you, you are not in the right relationship.

If you are dredging or avoiding having a difficult conversation with someone and would like to know where to start, you can check out my online course entitled, “How to have a difficult conversation”. Feel free to click on the link http://www.udemy.com/the-fine-art-of-communication to learn more.

Email your relationship questions to Shawna at: [email protected]. Be sure to subscribe!