The Wrong Reasons to Get Married

Shawna Leady

Apr 30 2015

Last week we talked about the "right" reasons to get married. This week let's review reasons someone shouldn't get married.

I realize that everyone has their own relationship baggage to carry, and no one is perfect. The purpose of this list is to help you think and understand your motivations for being in your relationship.

IF you are thinking about getting married, you must be clear about why you want to get married, because your reasons will influence the expectations you take into your married life.

Sometimes, our ego and insecurities can lead us to do things that are not in our best interest. This list is intended to help you see things a bit clearer.

If you find that your reason(s) for getting married are listed below, please take a second look at your relationship. Getting married is a serious step, that will have a lasting impact on your life, either positively or negatively. The choice is yours.

Everyone deserves to be in a happy, healthy and loving relationship!

Now lets talk about a few of the reasons you SHOULD NOT get married:

• You think it's "time" and since you are dating this person, might as well. Getting married is something more than "just something to do." It is a loving commitment two people make to each other. Don't short change yourself into believing, this is all that is out there for you.

• To prove you are a grown up. ~ Taking responsibility for yourself and for your own happiness is "proof" enough you are a grown-up.

• To get away from your parents or family. ~ Like it or not, your family is yours until the end. You don't have to like them all of the time, but you will need to make peace with them at some point. Preferably before you bring someone else into the family.

• Because everyone else is getting married... and you don't want to miss the boat. ~ Remember true love (unconditional love) can enter into your life at any time, there really is no rush.

• Your biological clock is ticking. ~ Remember families come in many forms.

• You want to have sex. ~ Great sex is worth the wait.

• A green card. ~ Your life is more than a means to an end. I recommend waiting for someone who doesn't need you for legal reasons.

• Because you have great sex in common, but that's about it. ~ Like it or not, there is so much more to marriage than having sex. You should enjoy each others company no matter your level of dress.

• You don't want people to think you won't find anyone. ~ If someone thinks such judgmental thoughts about you, the problem is with them and NOT you. This is your life and only YOU can live it.

• Because you are afraid of being alone. ~ In order to be in a healthy relationship, you need to know how to enjoy your own company and search out others who share your interests. Remember, your spouse shouldn't be your one and only friend. That is too much pressure for any one person to carry.

• Because you want someone to make you happy and complete you. ~ You must be happy and loving to yourself first, before you can give and receive true happiness and love from someone else.

If you are avoiding having a difficult conversation with someone and would like to know where to start, you can check out my online course entitled, “How to have a difficult conversation”. Feel free to click on the link http://www.udemy.com/the-fine-art-of-communication/?couponCode=Podcast15 to learn more.

Feel free to email your relationship questions to Shawna at: [email protected].

Wishing you every happiness,

Shawna Leady

The Mediator In Jeans